I know I know, I'm posting like every single day. I just don't want to miss documenting a moment of these early days with our newest family member and my thoughts on everything.
Several times a day I find myself thinking "wow, this is really hard". There is no way to know what it is going to be like, having a baby, until that baby is actually with you 24/7. The adjustment has been alot more difficult than I could have imagined. Those first few nights when I was up all night holding her and being overwhelmed by the new role, and a thousand times since then, thinking "this little person relies on me foreverything..and she will be here for the rest of my life!"
Several times a day I also find myself thinking "wow, this is really amazing". It's true that the hardest things in life are also the best. The other day I was at lunch with my mom, sisters, grandma, and aunts. One of my aunts was holding Olivia when she started to get fussy. I watched her look around the room until her eyes rested on mine. A look of recognition flashed across her eyes as she recognized me and I felt my heart do that little jump thing. I'm so happy to be her mom.
I'm so grateful to be doing this with Jack. He is the most amazing partner and father. He makes sure to tell me every day how beautiful and (ahem!) skinny I am because he knows I'm sure not feeling that way. He loves Olivia and gets so excited to hold her and spend time with her. He appreciates all of the little things about her like how pretty her belly button turned out and all of her different expressions. He is the most compassionate person I know. You'd think he would be sick of hearing about my aches and pains after ten months, but he still asks how I am feeling and makes sure I take time for myself and do what I need to in order to feel good and be rested.
When I get to the point where I'm ready for a break from babygirl and put her down for a nap or Jack takes her for a while, it only takes 5 minutes before I'm anxious to be with her again. I guess this is how it is to be in love :) I feel the same way about Jack and remember when we were dating and he'd leave for the night; I'd miss him right away.
I decided before she was born that co-sleeping was something I was NOT going to do.... Enter miss warm, snuggly body, sweet smelling head, and big blue eyes staring at me first thing in the morning and I am powerless against the little bean.