Thursday, February 28, 2013

evolution of an ice cream trip

she dropped her spoon and didn't notice when I stuck another in her cup

Monday, February 25, 2013

on my mind

Here are a couple things that have been weighing on me and I wanted to type out to get them out of my system:

I'm from Southern Utah where snow was an event and melted within hours of landing most of the time so when I moved up here the cold was very hard for me to live in.  I had to soak my feet in the tub a couple times a day just to feel warm.  This is my 5th winter in Northern Utah and while I am used to the snow and cold now, the length of the winter doesn't get much easier.  In fact, with a toddler it is almost unbearable.  Especially pregnant.  Having to be her main source of entertainment all day long is very tiring.  Her little legs can't maneuver through the deep snow very well so it ends up being more activity for me than her to play in it because I'm having to strain my back holding her hand the whole time or lift her out of the snow when she stumblesI can't wait for the warm weather when I can turn her loose in the field by our house or by the duck pond.  When she can bask in the sunlight in her little pool and pull leaves off the trees and run and roll in the grass until her lungs give out.  Or strap on some water wings and let her paddle around the city pool. I want to wash dirt and sweat off of her in the bath and get ice cream cone and grass stains out of her clothes.  I want her to go to bed truly exhausted from her days and wake up ready for outside adventures again.

Liv started hitting me when she gets frustrated with me (I partly blame this on the long winter too.  She's probably sick of me and/or being inside and doesn't have proper release for her energy).  She knows she isn't supposed to do it so she doesn't hit hard, just a little bop on the arm or face.  She doesn't know what it means to hurt another person, so it's just purely a response to frustration when I won't let her have something or when I make her leave a place she wants to be.  I hate it though.  I started holding her hand down and telling her No, but when that didn't seem to have effect I started ignoring it altogether, thinking it was the reaction that satisfied her.  Hopefully I find a way to resolve the issue.  I know it's normal and she'll grow out of it, but wow do I hate it.

Do most moms feel like they have to be the 'mean parent'?  I think most mom/dad teams just naturally have one parent that is more of the disciplinarian and that most of the time that falls on the one who spends the most time with the child.  Lately though I feel the burden of having to be the one who is always telling her she can't have my phone or can't have a treat or has to brush her teeth or get her diaper changed or the one to put her down for naps and to bed.  Jack gets to be the one to come down and be her horsey or fly her around the room or sneak her jelly beans.  He is very good about listening to my concerns and tries to make it even when the three of us are together (by telling her she can't have something or putting her in her crib after I have gotten her ready for bed) but when I am tired from the day and he comes down and she runs to him squealing and they chase each other around and laugh and play, I get a little jealous.  I WANT him to do those things with her because she loves it and she is so lucky to have a parent who will pretend to be a bear or a dog make up silly songs for her and chatter in baby language.  I'm just not that parent.  I'm the one who plays organized 'learning' games and feeds her healthy, balanced meals.  She still comes to me when she needs a snuggle or gets hurt, but not in the crazy squeal-y excited way she runs to Jack...  and she hits me.

I got in a funk last week and, through prayer, thought of the reason and a little bit of a solution.  The reason was that I didn't feel like I was being productive at all.  Sometimes each day just feels like the last and when I go to bed at night the only thing I have accomplished is taking a shower and keeping my kid alive.  The solution that came to my mind is to set goals for every day.  I used to make mile-long lists and thrived on checking things off, but with a toddler and an extra 20 pounds on me now, I find myself exhausted unmotivated to work on the enormous list of things that I mentally keep tally on in my mind that has been building since I got pregnant.  I have decided that each day I would write a couple of things to get done and then do them.  That's it, no excuses, just do them.
Today's things are:
1) wash and put away Olivia's laundry.
2) wash and stretch out my new sundresses for our vacation.
3) Go for a walk.
4) Call and leave a message to make a hair appointment.
Pretty easy things that won't make me dread the day or feel like I have too much work to do, but at the same time will make me feel like I did something and am whittling away at the ginormous list in my head.
hi baby --->

Sunday, February 24, 2013

tee shirt recycle

We have a vacation coming up and I was going through my laundry to decide what to pack when I found an old shirt Jack had given me.  I remembered seeing a tutorial on Pinterest about making old tees into racerback tanks and thought I'd try it.  Since Jack is a lot bigger than me, it'd be the perfect size for my huge belly come vacation time and if if didn't work...who cares.  It was an old shirt.  Here's the play-by-play:

Jack's big 'ol shirt (those aren't stains on the sleeve, I ironed it and our spray bottle had a mishap)  ----->
I cut off the collar and then cut the neckline where I wanted it in front down a little in back.  Then cut off the sleeves and a little extra to make the shoulder straps thinner ----->

I then cut about a 2" strip from one of the sleeves I had cut off,  and used my sewing machine to sew up one length of it --->
then flipped the tube inside out so the seam was clean ----->
I looped the length of sewn fabric around the back of the tee (so through each of the armholes in the back) and sewed it together to make a full circle (remember to backstitch at each end so it won't come unraveled) ----->
the I just cut off that extra fabric and threads on the end of my loop and turned the whole loop inside out to hide it and make a clean seam ---->
Score!  A racerback tank from an old tee
Also I made little Livbaby a headband.  The tutorial for that can be found here

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

How you know it's time for a playdate

Olivia hasn't gotten much interaction with other kids since Christmas.  With all of the sickness going around and the extreme numbers of RSV we haven't even taken her to nursery.  I think the lack of peer interaction is making her weird.  We went to Old Navy this morning and she befriended the little girl mannequin at the front of the store.  She spent about ten minutes with her arm around the plastic girl, having a one-sided conversation, kissing her on the mouth, and petting her fake dog.  People would walk into the store and smile at her, but all I could think was Lars and the Real Girl.  I had to pull her away (kicking and screaming) when she tried to hold the older brother mannequin's hand and accidentally pulled his arm off.  I need to schedule some time with other (real) kids asap.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Valentine's Day- family style

All holidays take on a different persona once you become a mom.  What was once a two-person holiday between Jack and I that involved hotel stays and couple's massages, is now shared with a very little- and very high maintenance - third party.  I've learned that grand gestures and big gifts have to give way to small, less time and energy consuming, little offerings to the holiday and each other.  It took me twenty months to come to terms with this, but I think I am finally getting the hang of the 'family holiday.'

While Olivia ate breakfast and watched Curious George, I quickly made Jack a love-y Valentine's playlist of our songs to listen to while he checked his morning emails and did the morning post for work, then taped some hearts to his mirror.  Energy: minimal.  Time: 10 minutes.

After showering and getting Olivia ready I threw together some pancake batter, using Kodiak's amazing whole wheat mix.  I poured out some lumpy-looking hearts and called Jack down to breakfast.  Energy: minimal.  Time: 10 minute prep and even less eating, since Olivia decided her one pancake was not enough and spend the rest of the time trying to scale my head and eat mine while I attempted to fend her off with one hand and shovel it down my throat with the other (Jack attempted to ply her with orange juice from the other direction, to no avail.  I think in the end she ate more pancakes than Jack and I combined.)  Jack brought in my favorite flower, calla lilies, in a beautiful arrangement for me.

  and I made Jack a card with a funny quote I saw.

We went down to Orem to have lunch, do some shopping at the mall, drop gifts off at our mother's houses, and Jack took me shopping for a special gift.  You know your hormone-induced tears have reached unacceptable levels when your husband has to say, "Okay, here's what your gift is...don't cry."  It didn't help much.  Even the mention of tears can bring on tears. I've even had to ban certain kinds of articles that I read online because they can throw off my mood all night long.

After Olivia went to bed I seared some filet mignon, then threw them into the oven with mushrooms and green beans, mixed up a balsamic salad, and voila.  Vday dinner.  Effort: medium.  Time: 20 minutes.  Oh, and I made this caramel marshmallow popcorn I found on Pinterest.  It was too delicious.

Then we ate our dinner and treat while we watched Shaun of the Dead.  'Cause I guess we thought that would be a good Valentine movie :)  Basically, I love my husband.  I love spending all holidays with him, no matter what they entail.  He's such a great friend, husband, and father, and I am one lucky girl.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Book Club

Since my last book club post, I've read a couple of new books.  I'll only go into detail about two of them though since I'd recommend them the most.

Heaven is Here by Stephanie Nielson
I'm sure every girl in Utah has already read this, but I wanted to post about it.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Synopsis: Real-life Utahn, Stephanie Nielson, chronicles her ordeal of being severely burned in a plane crash and how it has affected her and her young family.

I think Stephanie Nielson is incredibly brave and amazing and such a good person, and reading her story was pretty uplifting and gave me so many things to be thankful for and have perspective on, but I only gave it a 7.5 because there was something that wasn't quite satisfying to me about the book.  It took me a week after finishing it to realize what had been missing for me...a sense of humor.  I don't know if, in real life, Stephanie is more of a serious person, but I think in hard situations a sense of humor can go a long way and when the book lacked any evidence of one it kind of dragged for me and seemed a little more doom-and -gloom than it should have come off.  I know it was a very serious situation, and like I said I think she is incredible so I'm not trying to to take anything away from her struggle, I just would have liked if she could have laughed a little more.  Maybe that sounds dumb, but it's my opinion.  Enter cliche phrase: Laughter is the best medicine.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Rating: 9 out of 10
Synopsis: A young sheepherder leaves his comfortable life in search of treasure and finds things along the way that are much more valuable.

This book was a quick, easy read that was chock-full of nuggets of wisdom and underline-able quotes.  It reminded me that it's not about the destination, but the journey and basically to look around and take notice instead of watching my feet while I walk.  Metaphorically of course.  I'm going to read this one out loud to Jack because I think he'd like it and it could start some good conversations.

A Discovery of Witches
Rating: 6.5 out of 10
I'm not going to go into details, but if you're into the whole witch/vampire genre this one is decent

Shadow of Night

Sequel to A History of Witches (the third in the trilogy comes out later this year)

Next book in the club: Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Monday, February 4, 2013

the past week

*we found out we were having a girl and started making a name list
*we went and bought her first outfit and Jack cleared out my craft room a little to start the conversion to a nursery
*we went down to St George for the weekend to spend time with friends and family and out of the snow
*we laughed our butts off playing games with friends and saw Tasha and Jordan's lovely new/old house
*ate breakfast at Oscar's in Springdale (me, Jack Tasha, Olivia). Died of happiness.  Discussed who of our friends would last longest in a zombie apocalypse, on Survivor, and in Amazing Race.
*went on the River Walk in Zion.  Were unhappy with the cold.
*poor LivBaby fell on the path and scraped her nose, went from delighted to unenchanted about the stroll
*picked up our favorite Croshaw's pie to take home (lemon cream cheese)
*had dinner with my family, hear the funniest joke ever from Hunter
     why did the plane crash?
     ....because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
if you aren't laughing right now we can't be friends.
*tried to show a tired, cranky, teething Olivia my dad's horses.  Not having it.  We put her in the car and enjoyed them in peace
*this morning I was making bread and held Olivia up to see the mixer kneading the dough.  She tried to help by tossing the paddle attachment into the Kitchenaid.  I, thinking she was reaching in (she wasn't), instinctively reached in to block her and caught my finger between the paddle and the dough hook for just a millisecond.  Pain, swelling, bruising, doctor's visit, and a finger splint followed.  We didn't want to do an x-ray for the sake of the unborn member of the family, but the dr was pretty sure there was a small fracture of some sort and recommended the splint.
*I learned that Olivia could eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day, and that I need to be more creative and less lazy about her meals
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